About five years ago my mother found us a new brother. His name is Aaron, and I love him tremendously.
Here is a picture of Aaron:
I know that you will find this hard to believe, but Aaron is gay.
When Aaron and I hang out there is usually a lot of snacks and hysterical laughing. Last summer we almost died in a fiery car crash because we were laughing so hard that neither of us could see or breath. I had just told the story about the time Ashley brilliantly mixed a few metaphors and told us that she "really needed to lay it on the nail." (She got tangled up in a combination of "lay it all out on the table", and "hit the nail on the head") So then Aaron and I started trying to mix metaphors which lead to the single funniest thing that anyone has ever said:
"She is dumber than a box of fine tooth combs."
I realize this isn't that funny to you now, but the laughing, oh, the laughing it caused that night. My stomach still hurts thinking about how hard we were howling. There was desperate gasping for air and screams for mercy. One of us would momentarily recover, only to be sucked back into the laughing abyss by the contagious shrieking of the other. It was one of the greatest laughs, EVER.
And just in case you are wondering, we were stone cold sober at the time.
There is nothing dumber (and funnier) than a box of fine tooth combs. If you can't see that, than you must not be my new gay brother Aaron. I love you, Aaron!
p.s- Someday, if you are a good little internet, I will tell you about the Scandia Bake Shop and the magical/delicious things Aaron and I found inside.