Just look at her there, all, "ha ha, you love me."
Trixie is officially the bane of my existence. She represents all of my hopes and fears- in cat form.
There are times when I am afraid that I will always be alone. Not just single, but alone. These are the times when I love Trixie the most. It is nice to be needed and loved. It is wonderful to have a belly to scratch when I am sad. Trixie is stupid (even for a cat), but she is my stupid little cat. We are a team, and my life is sweeter for having a teammate. I love Trixie.
Trixie is needy (even for a cat).
I want to be able to jump on a plane at a moments notice. I want to leave the country for months at a time. I want to be able to play in far flung music festivals without feeling guilty. I am tired of begging, pleading, paying my friends to feed her when I am away. She wants, and needs more than I have to give. She deserves a better home. I feel so insanely guilty about her.
Trixie perfectly represents my conflicting desire to both settle down, and to break out and explore.
So basically, I am having an early mid-life crisis.......and I blame Trixie.
I am going to be out of town for four of the next five weeks. I have tried- I swear I have tried to find Trixie a new home, but as of right now, she is still all mine. I have been praying that something miraculous would happen, and some saintly soul would make themselves known and I could give Trixie away, knowing that she would be loved.
I think I am going to have to bring her with me, in the car to New Hampshire. Then, in two weeks I will drive her back here and then leave her alone for another two weeks. It's not good. She is not going to handle her summer plans gracefully. I'm not taking good enough care of my friend.
Please. If you know of anyone who would be willing to adopt Trixie, or even take her into their home until August 15th, please let me know.
The amount of time I have spent thinking and talking about Trixie in the last month is absurd. This situation is slowly driving me insane. I wish I had some joke to make about that, but I don't.