Minnesota State Fair: Part 2

The Food

Please don't judge me too harshly for what you are about to read.  I ate a lot at the state fair this year, but most of this food was shared, and very few things were finished.  I was at the fair for about six hours.  Six glorious hours.

First, a few tips on dining at the fair:

The food at the fair is plentiful, fattening, and most often found on a stick.  The best thing you can do for yourself is arrive at the fair hungry.  Show up hungry, but pace yourself.  Don't get crazy at the beginning.  You have a long day of eating ahead and you don't want to ruin the fair experience with an early morning bellyache.  Be cool.  Drink plenty of fluids.  I find that Diet Coke suits most of my fair beverage needs.  When you think you are full, don't give up!  If you have been eating sweet, try switching to salty.  Thirty years of the Minnesota State Fair have taught me that the perfect time for cheese curds is when you think you might die if you eat another mini donut. 

I started my fair day with a delicious Pronto Pup.  A Pronto Pup is a corn dog.  It is also the undisputed favorite fair food of Minnesotans.  Some Minnesotans get all huffy about the difference between a regular corn dog and a Pronto Pup.  Me, I believe that if it looks like a corn dog, and tastes like a corn dog, well, it's a corn dog.  That being said, I went out of my way to start the day with a Pronto Pup.  It was good.

 

I don't want any lip from the mustard police about the ketchup on my Pronto Pup.  Ketchup is delicious.  I don't understand why you people (Chicago, I'm looking at you) take it personally when I enjoy my hot dog with ketchup.  Can't we all just get along? 

I was still a bit hungry after The Pup.  Show up hungry, remember?   I decided to take a chance on The Pickle Dog stand. 

Hooray for the Pickle Dog! 

Cream cheese + pastrami + pickle = pure scrumpsh. 

A Pickle Dog calls for a frosty Diet Coke. 

I had never had a Pickle Dog before as I tend to stick to the basics (food wise) at the fair.  A few years ago Sam and I bought some alligator bites (tastes like chicken), and it was then that I learned that I don't really care about the exotic fair foods.  Every year all of Minnesota gets riled up about some new fair food or another-  a few years ago it was the deep fried Twinkie.  This year, I am horrified to report, all of Minnesota is talking about Hot Dish on a Stick.  (Hot dish is Minnesotan for casserole.)

For the sake of the blog I had intended to try the Hot Dish on a Stick, but I blanched upon seeing the retched thing.  It looks like a corn dog, but it contains potatoes and ground beef and whatever else is in "hot dish".  After hovering around the booth nervously for a few minutes I realized that Hot Dish on a Stick is served with a side of cream of mushroom soup for dipping.  I ran like hell.

Here, a mother attempts to force feed Hot Dish on a Stick to her innocent, infant son:

Hot Dish on a Stick reminds me of another mind boggling Minnesota State Fair vender, the all you can drink milk booth.

WTF!  Nobody over the age of four months should be gorging themselves on milk.  EEW!  eww eww eww eww eww eww eww eww eww EEEEEEEEEEEW.  All you can drink milk!  The mere mention gives me the shivers.  Hot Dish on a Stick, followed by all the milk you can drink.  EEEEEWWW!

Quickly, on to something else.....

My very favorite fair food is the Tom Thumb mini donuts.  Mini Donuts are theatrical and delicious.  I have always loved watching the mini dog nut machines.  Because it's Minnesota, and Minnesotans are nicer than normal folks, the mini donut guy took the glass casing off the machine so I could take some good pictures.  Thanks, Tom Thumb donut guy!

Once the little donuts make their way out of the river of grease they are liberally sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.  For $3.50, I received a bag of 16 warm, bite sized donuts.

It is my dream to one day own a Tom Thumb mini donut machine.

I can't believe how much more food I have to tell you about.  An absurd, embarrassing, horrifying, fantastical amount of food left to go!

Chocolate covered marshmallow.  Eh.  It was okay.  Good thing it was only 50 cents.

At this point I had been at the fair for about four hours and I was seriously slowing down.  Time for fried cheese curds!

Fried cheese curds are pretty much exactly what they sound like- delicious.  Mozzarella cheese, battered and deep fried.  Curds are a Minnesota State Fair staple and they are must be eaten annually, if only for the sake of tradition.

Finally, in one Herculean burst of fair enthusiasm, Mary and I decided we needed some garlic fries to finish off the day of eating.  Garlic fries are so wrong. 

So wrong, in such a very very right way. 

I blame the garlic fries for the fact that no matter how many showers I took over the following days, I could not feel clean. 

Damn you, garlic fries.

Whoa.  That is a lot of food at the state fair.  I did it for you, internet.  I wanted you to see.  All in all, this was a banner year for eating at the fair. 

Stay tuned for Part 3: Fair Oddities.  (Butter heads)

Comments

[ashley]

OMG thanks for taking me back!!!!
yes i have to say the butter blocks dairy queens are one of my faves too livia. Thanks to kitty, i too have been to the minnesota state fair and it was fabulous. I did not see any birthing though, i have to say I think I would have liked it in that miracle of life barn. :)
oh the food, i remember it fondly, i hope to get there again someday, seriously, i usually think state fairs are boring, and the MN state fair was simply the best.
i feel honored to have attended.
p.s. that milk booth is wrong no matter how old you are!!!!

[Shalini]

Hooray for garlic fries. They are the reason I live and breathe (stinky breath). And cheese curds have a special place in Brian's heart after the New Year's eating contest.

[Courtney]

I just have to tell you about my State Fair faves because I feel like you missed a couple of the goodies. I used to go to the Great Minnesota Get Together every year with my mom, and our neighbors, Debi and Marie. Marie is one of the most enthusiastic eaters of fair food ever, and according to her rules, one must begin in the dairy building where a milkshake can be enjoyed while looking at the Butter Queens. From there, there is the obligatory Pronto Pup which you covered. You missed the corn on the cob on a stick. This is great because of the hot, melted butter it is doused with, and the many many salt shakers hanging from the ceiling of the booth add a fun, festive, touch. The other treat I could never live without is the salt water taffy. Maybe that's just my weird thing, but I always leave the fair with a big old bag of taffy. Totey delish.

[susan]

Can't wait to hear about the Butt Heads. We go every year about 4 or 5 times and stop in to see heads every time we go! Also, I am very fond of the goats on the last Friday. All too soon Fair Season is over.

[livia]

GD you, Kitty (fist shaking at the sky)! That was the funniest thing i have ever read. Sorry i spoke too soon about the butter heads. As a newbie, I had no idea the history of these dairy queens. can't wait to see pics. Is MN State Fair a freaky place that you love to hate or can't help but love?

[Sam]

1. Ketchup has no place on a pronto pup. Sincerely, the Honorable Chief of the Mustard Police.

2. Love the garlic fries, but hate having to get them at the Ballpark Cafe, which is basically a suburban sports bar whacked down in the middle of the fair.

3. The milk booth is there to assist you after you have single-handedly downed an entire cone full of Sweet Martha's cookies. The all-you-can-drink component is for the unbelievable gluttons who buy Sweet Martha's by the bucket.

3. Where's the mention of my beloved deep-fried turkey sandwich? Best. State Fair Food. Ever.

Making my first (and probably last) fair visit of the summer later today. (Stupid European tours, keeping me away from my pronto pups!) Thanks for the heads-up on the hotdish...

[Charlie]

WOW, it don't even know where to begin....all I know is this, I too hope that heaven is the Minnesota State Fair!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!

[Sam]

LATE UPDATE: Can now report first-hand that the hotdish on a stick is actually fairly tasty. (For those wondering what particular flavor of hotdish this is, it's tater tot, minus the corn and green beans.) The cream of mush dipping sauce is a stroke of genius, in my opinion.

I did not try the "Uff Da Treat" available at the same booth. But hey, there's always tomorrow. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go beach myself on the couch like the overfed fair whale I am...

[Scott]

I live in Saint Paul Minnesota about 1 1/2 miles from the fair grounds and go every year and my favorite foods would be the pronto pup,cheese curds,Tiny Tim or Tom Thumb donuts,corn on the cob and of course the beer gardens etc. I agree however that a pronto pup absolutly has to be eaten with either mustard or just plain! Mustard rules on them though, I don't even know why they offer ketchup at the stands. Anyways, I look forward to the next Minnesota get together and chow my head off lol. The only bad thing about the state fair is when it's over that is the end of summer here in Minnesota. One good thing about it though is the kids go back to school shortly there after heehee:) Everyone enjoy the fair when you can cause it only comes once a year.