My transition from a plain, boring PC owner, to a super hip-happening Apple owner is nearly complete. Learning how to operate my new computer has been challenging, but the rewards are starting to become evident. The biggest reward is this:
I am now much, much cooler than you.
I'm just kidding. The one thing I will never claim to be is cool. Coolness has always eluded me, and all attempts to capture cool have ended in heartache. At an early age I learned to embrace my dorkiness. As a freshman in college, surrounded by a cloud of pot smoke, I famously quipped, "You don't have to think that your cool, you just have to know that you're rad." I don't know what this means exactly, but I do know that it has become a sort of mantra between Courtney and I. If one of us is expressing nervousness that we have finally gone too far, dork-wise, the other will comfort "No, No, you just have to know that you're rad." Cool is practically a dirty word amongst my friends.
That being said, my new computer is making me feel cool. Computer Cool is almost the dorkiest type of cool a person can achieve. Computer Cool is slightly less dorky than Classical Musician Cool, which is the highest level of cool I had previously achieved.
The Ladder of Dorky Cool
With the most cool (least dorky, but still pretty dorky) at the top, and the most dorky at the bottom.
Too Cool For School Cool- people who were cool (not necessarily popular) at school.
Car Cool- people who drive cool cars.
Homosexual Cool- people who's coolness is greatly enhanced by their gayness.
Work Cool- people who have impressive jobs.
Clown Cool- people who are funny
Cross Country Cool- people who are cool amid the less cool sports.
Tincture Cool- people who are cool amongst natropathic doctors.
Computer Cool- people who have cool computers.
Knitting Blog Cool- people who are cool amongst knitting bloggers
NPR Cool- public radio producers
Classical Music Cool- people who are cool amongst classical musicians.
LOTR Cool- people who are cool at Dungeons and Dragons night.
As you can see, with the acquisition of my new computer I have jumped up three rungs on the ladder, leapfrogging over Knitting Blog Cool and NPR Cool. I plan on using this new cooler status to my advantage, and start bringing my computer out with me to bars. I'm an Apple girl now, and I want the whole world to know it.