The following is an entirely true story:
When I was a sophomore in college our entire campus was struck by the WORST flu I have ever experienced. It was a hacking cough, plus barfing, plus a fever, plus all around misery. Everyone caught it eventually. Now normally, there is nothing particularly alarming about a bad case of the flu settling over a small campus community. But this, was no ordinary flu. This time is was different.
It was different......because of the monkeys.
In January of 1995 two Oberlin students smuggled two Bolivian pygmy monkeys into The United States, by drugging them and hiding them in their pants. Yes, you heard me- they smuggled monkeys in their pants. Upon arriving back on campus the monkeys were dead from the drugs or from being trapped IN PANTS for the duration of an international flight, so the two students, being total assholes, discarded the monkeys in plain site in the dorm hallway garbage can. Of course, some other unsuspecting student discovered the DEAD MONKEYS and called the authorities. The students were arrested and thrown out of school. It was a whole huge fiasco.
Meanwhile, the campus was disintegrating into a full fledged flu epidemic. I have never been as sick as I was that week- and everyone was sick. Rumors started flying about the campus being quarantined, and that we were all suffering from some sort of exotic illness courtesy of our dead monkey friends. We all started referring to our sickness as "Monkey Disease". It didn't help matters that the movie Outbreak had just been released.
In the end we were not quarantined. We all recovered from our illness. But to this day, whenever we are good and sick, Obies call our sickness Monkey Disease.
I am currently suffering from Monkey Disease and it is so uncool.