Courtney and I have a routine to ease ourselves through auditions. We go to the audition, we get knocked out in the first round, and then we have some version of the following conversation:
Kate: I didn’t advance
Courtney: What?! That’s insane. How did you play?
Kate: Well, I thought it was pretty good. I suppose my Haffner could have been a bit less spazzy, but other than that, I thought did well.
Courtney: Did you play pretty?
Kate: Hell yeah I did.
Courtney: They just couldn’t handle your rocking viola soul.
Kate: Yeah. I probably wasn’t tidy enough.
Courtney: They are clearly looking for some sort of robot.
Kate: I am so not a robot.
Courtney: No. You are too awesome for them. You play with balls…I mean ovaries.
Kate: I did play with some serious ovaries.
Courtney: They are going to hire some sort of robot, probably a child robot.
Kate: They are looking for a three-year-old robot.
Courtney: You are a wise viola sage. You are too good for them.
Courtney: What did they ask for in the first round?
Kate: It was totally strange. The list was really long, and they asked for the third page of Mendelssohn Scherzo.
Courtney: That’s so lame.
Kate: I know. Totally lame.
Courtney: You are so lucky you didn’t win that job.
Kate: Seriously! I don’t even want to move to *insert name of red state city* anyway.
Courtney: Good Lord, who would? You’re too awesome!
Kate: Thanks, Courtney. You’re awesome too!
Courtney: Hell yeah I am!
Kate: We’re so awesome!
Courtney: …Dave thinks it’s really weird how we tell each other how awesome we are after losing auditions.
Kate: Oh, Dave. How else are we going to know that we’re awesome?!
Courtney: I know!