A Ridiculous Day
by Kate Holzemer
10:30: make coffee. shower. put on reasonable outfit. look at the interwebs and comment repeatedly on IPB. Read hilarious things.
12:45: spill coffee on laptop! Laptops sputters and shuts down. My baby is drowning! Freak out and run to public library because without the use of a computer I don't know how to get in contact with Apple Support. (it never even occurs to me to use the telephone.)
1:00: wind up looking at the interwebs at the public library. completely fail to solve coffee/laptop problem. fail to reach anyone at Apple. decide Apple customer support is maybe not as effing fabulous as they want me to believe. have perfectly enjoyable time looking at interwebs at the public library.
2:30: leave library and purchase sandwich at Globe market. this is the first bite of food I eat all day.
2:45: arrive back home and eat sandwich, sadly eye laptop.
3:00: laptop is cured! miraculous recovery! vow never to eat or drink near laptop again.
3:01: enjoy a diet coke and a Fudgesicle while looking at the interwebs.
4:00: practice viola.
5:00: look at interwebs.
5:30: practice viola
5:37: give up on having anything resembling a respectable day. Put on sweatpants and a t-shirt with a hole in the armpit. look at interwebs
7:00: Begin cooking current favorite meal, Chick-Pea Delight. Realize that I only have twenty grains of rice left. Cook twenty last remaining grains of rice.
7:30: Eat Chick-pea Delight served over a "bed" of twenty grains of rice. It's delightful as usual, even without a reasonable amount of rice.
8:00: look at interwebs
9:00: decide that after such a strenuous day I would like to get some early shut-eye. take two Tylenol PMs.
9:15: think to self, "I should feel guilty for having such a ridiculous day."
9:16: think to self, "I don't feel guilty. I feel as though I kick ass."
9:17: smile smugly.