Oh For Fun!

3 Inexplicable Crushes

At any given time I am nursing a wide variety of celebrity/sudo-celebrity/fictional character crushes.  The inexplicable crush is a crush who for the most part is only appealing in the deep dark recesses of my neuroses.  I had a lot of fun putting this short list together, and I think that it is a very good glimpse into my personal brand of crazy.

Buster Bluth.  There is a special place in my heart for all of the Bluth boys, but Buster is my hands down favorite.  At first I figured that it must be the actor Tony Hale I find so attractive, but then I found a picture of Hale looking very un-Bustery, and I realized, no, it's Buster.  I love Buster.  My love for Buster is intense, unnatural, and wrong.

The Geico Caveman.  The caveman does it for me.   I love his gentlemanly frustration.  I want to be there when his veneer of civility finally cracks.

PC.  I'm a dedicated Mac user, but it's PC who lights my fire.  He's nerdy, doughy, and pasty.  He's my kind of man.

So there you have it.  Not everyone can be a cookie cutter public radio producer hottie.  A girl needs variety.

--------

p.s-  I hadn't googled Alex Blumberg in awhile, and I have to say, the results are far more hilarious than they were a few months ago.  Not only have I made the first page, but check out the Alex Blumberg image results.  Look carefully.  See me there, looking so hot? That is just WRONG.  I guess we reap what we sow. 

Seriously though, how can he resist?

Hi, Alex Bumberg

It has been a rough month for my irrational crushes.   Recent events occurring in "reality"  have convinced me that I'm happiest when I keep my head out of the clouds.  That said, I think it is time to revisit the Alex Blumberg situation.  (If you don't know what I'm talking about read this, and then read the Alex Blumberg category.) 

I find it nearly impossible to believe that Alex Blumberg has not yet found this site.  Theoretically, if even one person in Alex Blumberg's actual life has googled him, he should now be alerted to the existence of OhForFun.  Perhaps I am underestimating his fame.  Maybe Alex Blumberg is so famous that he has grown accustomed to women writing adoringly about him on the internet.   

I think the more likely truth is that he has seen my blog, and chosen not to respond. 

I know.

How could this be? 

(Private to Alex Blumberg:  That piece you did on the rabid raccoon?  So scary and funny.  Just trust me, you and I should be BFF, even if you are married or gay.  I have not heard from you yet, so clearly you are stark raving mad.  That's cool.)

Google is Strange

Charlie's ascention to yahoo fame has inspired me to investigate a recent phenomena I've been experiencing here at ohforfun: Why are so many people reaching ohforfun by googling "Tom Cruise"?

A long time ago I did a goofy little post eff-you-ing various wrong doers.  As a joke I included a link to a picture of Tom Cruise from mtv.  The link to the original picture no longer works.  (Just so you know, from now on all references to Mr. Cruise will be linked back to this picture.)

I don't really understand the mysterious ways of Google.  All I know is that when you google Tom Cruise and then click on the image links, ohforfun is the seventh result.   This is why I now get dozens of random hits a day.  I have no idea why my site is ranked so high in a search of such a famous person.  I assure you my readership is very small, and yet, when you google Tom Cruise, you get to OhForFun.  Try it.  The picture of Tom Cruise standing at a podium with popcorn statue?- that picture links back here.  The words underneath the picture, "oh no, is tom cruise anti-gay"- Ashley wrote those.

I have already stated my sincere belief that all people eventually google themselves.  All I'm saying is that Alex Blumberg, you had better get a move on because I have got some serious fish frying on my burners now. 

Tom Cruise, if you are reading this, please release Katie from captivity.  After you free Katie we can begin to work on our friendship.  Tom, I'm not sure that you and I have a lot in common, but I am sure that you have a lot of money.  Access to piles of money goes a looong way when trying to forge a friendship with me.  I think you and I could work.  Call me!

Welcome

If you got to this site by googling "Alex Blumberg", please click on the Oh For Fun banner to enter the main page.  You are currently in the Alex Blumberg Category.  Every entry in this catagory contains some reference to Alex Blumberg.  It is irking me that some people might think this blog is entirely about Alex Blumberg. I am crazy, but not that crazy. 

On the scale of crazy I would say I am less crazy than her, but more crazy than him.  I hope that helps put me into perspective.

Secret Admirer

Look what I found under my windshield wiper today!

I'm not going to lie, this little note made me feel pretty good.  I am choosing to believe it was left by one of my friends riding by on their bike, and not some creepy-stalkery-type.  It is nice how an unexpected, sweet gesture can turn a day around. 

Since leaving well enough alone is not my strong suit, I have compiled a list of  "prime suspects".

Robin- This is exactly the kind of nice thing she would do, plus she rides her bike all over tarnation.
Deb- ditto
Amelie- This is right up her alley, but since she no longer lives in Buffalo I would say she is a long shot.  I miss Amelie and her kindness.  I gotta call her!
Jeff the Bartender- Lets face it, that guy has been in love with me for years.
Alex Blumberg- Consider this possibility:  Alex Blumberg found my website, and he's (naturally) in love with me and my blog.  This weekend, he traveled to Buffalo with the intention of asking for my hand in marriage.  Unfortunately, upon seeing me on the street, he became paralyzed by my beauty and grace.  Too scared to approach me, he instead left a note on my car, professing his true feelings.

(Private to Alex Blumberg- Don't worry, this happens a lot when men meet me for the first time.  I have come to understand that my allure can be intimidating.  After you get to know me, you will realize I am quite warm and unassuming.  My beauty is a curse...)

That creepy guy at Merlin's-  Sigh.  It's probably him.
Stefan- Let's face it, that guy has been in love with me for years.
The Cute Computer Spy From Jen's Wedding-  He would have had to go to quite a bit of trouble to locate me and my car, but he is a spy, so he has the means. 
Trixie- Trixie is a cat, and she lives in Batavia, but (if she remembers me at all) she does love me.
My Mother-  This is totally something she would do.
Jon Lombardo- Let's face it, that guy has been in love with me for years.
The Crazy Lady at Wilson Farms- I think she was checking me out today.
My Mailman-  All mailmen love me.  I am like crack to mailmen.
Bernie- Let's face it, that guy has been in love with me for years.

In all seriousness, thank you to the person who left the note.  It made my day.

Statistics

Monday - Wednesday

6 hours in car driving back and forth from Buffalo to Olean.
4 education concerts performed (two more to go).
1 ginger peach candle burned.
67 times I've cried during Grey's Anatomy season 2.
3 delicious items prepared in my kitchen by me.
2 more days until I find out if I have E coli.
1 brand new audition book lost
1 day I decided to knit instead of practice due to the loss of my book
3 feet of baby blanket knit.
3 beloved friends that I think about everyday, but I have not talked to in weeks.
7 more days until payday.
108 times I've changed my mind about the number of auditions to take.


2-Day Forecast

67% chance of near future crying
98.3% chance of practicing
71% chance of proper blogging
62% chance that I will cook something tasty
3% chance that Alex Blumberg will get in touch
1% chance that I eat spinach
57% chance I will go on a hike

 

I'm 100% sure that this post is a real stretch.

I've got nothing, people. (except E coli)

Dorky Cool

My transition from a plain, boring PC owner, to a super hip-happening Apple owner is nearly complete.  Learning how to operate my new computer has been challenging, but the rewards are starting to become evident.  The biggest reward is this:

I am now much, much cooler than you.

I'm just kidding.  The one thing I will never claim to be is cool.   Coolness has always eluded me, and all attempts to capture cool have ended in heartache.  At an early age I learned to embrace my dorkiness.  As a freshman in college, surrounded by a cloud of pot smoke, I famously quipped, "You don't have to think that your cool, you just have to know that you're rad."   I don't know what this means exactly, but I do know that it has become a sort of mantra between Courtney and I.  If one of us is expressing nervousness that we have finally gone too far, dork-wise, the other will comfort "No, No, you just have to know that you're rad."  Cool is practically a dirty word amongst my friends.

That being said, my new computer is making me feel cool.  Computer Cool is almost the dorkiest type of cool a person can achieve.  Computer Cool is slightly less dorky than Classical Musician Cool, which is the highest level of cool I had previously achieved.

The Ladder of Dorky Cool
With the most cool (least dorky, but still pretty dorky) at the top, and the most dorky at the bottom.

Too Cool For School Cool- people who were cool (not necessarily popular) at school.
Car Cool- people who drive cool cars.
Homosexual Cool- people who's coolness is greatly enhanced by their gayness.
Work Cool- people who have impressive jobs.
Clown Cool- people who are funny
Cross Country Cool- people who are cool amid the less cool sports.
Tincture Cool- people who are cool amongst natropathic doctors.
Computer Cool- people who have cool computers.
Knitting Blog Cool- people who are cool amongst knitting bloggers
NPR Cool- public radio producers
Classical Music Cool- people who are cool amongst classical musicians.
LOTR Cool- people who are cool at Dungeons and Dragons night.

As you can see, with the acquisition of my new computer I have jumped up three rungs on the ladder, leapfrogging over Knitting Blog Cool and NPR Cool.  I plan on using this new cooler status to my advantage, and start bringing my computer out with me to bars.  I'm an Apple girl now, and I want the whole world to know it. 

Self Googler

Yesterday, this comment was left on the original Alex Blumberg post:

Hello-
I grew up with Alex Blumberg. Apparently, he recently did a piece on "This American Life" about his dog killing my childhood pets. I just found this site by googling the name of his sister, because having people call me to tell me about the radio piece made me wonder what she was up to. It also got me really depressed thinking about my pets, but that's a different story. His sister's name, as it happens, is Kate, so "Kate Blumberg" got me here. I run into Alex every 5 years or so, and I will try to remember to direct him to your site. Sorry my projected time-frame is not very quick.
All the best,
Emily

.........

Uh-oh..........and hooray!

It suddenly (and moronically) occurs to me that it's quite likely that Alex Blumberg will eventually find this site.  In theory that was the entire point of the Alex Blumberg Experiment- that he would find this shrine, contact me and that we would fall into improbable love.  This plan amuses me, and I have had great fun sewing this thread through my blog.  To me this is a funny story I have created, inspired by a crush on an abstract person. 

It is a bit unsettling for me to consider the actual Alex Blumberg.  I have done practically no online investigation.  My version of Alex Blumberg is created entirely by what I have heard on the radio, and my own imagination.  It occurs to me that if he ever finds my blog, Alex Blumberg will instantly know much much more about me than I know about him.  Weird.   I'm feeling concerned about the high potential for embarrassment here.

I take comfort in the fact that the basic concept of the Alex Blumberg Experiment is sound.  In order for him to find this blog, he has to google himself.  Sure, it's a bit embarrassing that I have created a shrine to a stranger, but come on, the guy sits around googling himself all day.  What an ego on that guy, geez.  See how that works?   I may be a goober for creating this situation, but he is also a goober for falling for the bait.  See?  My plan includes a face saving trap.  I may be lame, but so are you.  This is an immature stance I realize, but faced with the prospect of a real live man confronting me with the damning evidence that is this website, I will take any small comfort I can get.

And lets say he does find the site.  Why do we google ourselves anyway?  Isn't the secret hope of all self googlers that somewhere, out there in the internet, there is a secret shrine devoted to us?  Why else would we google our own name?  We are looking for unexpected information about ourselves.  We are looking for a glimpse at what other people see when they see us.  I hope that at the very least, Alex Blumberg will be flattered to discover that a perfect stranger, albeit a weirdo, saw fit to create one hell of an interesting google link.

He's Still My Boyfriend

* I suppose that technically this post contains a Superman Returns spoiler.  That said, if you haven't figured out this particular "twist" in the first five minutes of the movie, then you are either mentally challenged, or five-years-old.  What I am about to reveal is really no big whoop.*

All of the talk in comments about Superman's sexual orientation led to this conversation today:

Kate:  What about Lois Lane then?  He loves her.  Superman is STRAIGHT.

Amelie:  Yeah, but the outfit.  He wears tights. 

Kate:  True.  But he has a kid with Lois, so they must have had sex at some point.

Amelie:  Did they ever actual show a love scene in the other movies?

Kate:  Um, I don't remember, but I really can't imagine that they could have.  You can't show Superman in bed- at least in a romantic way.  You can't show Superman without his Superman outfit, lying in bed with Lois Lane.  That is just silly.

Amelie:  Once he took off his outfit, wouldn't she finally realize that Superman is Clark Kent?

Kate:  One would think.  But she seems to be pretty dense about that.  Can you imagine Superman undressing?

Amelie: (starting to laugh)  Yeah.  First he takes off his gold belt....

Kate: (also laughing)  THEN he takes off his big red underwear.

Amelie: Then he takes off his blue Superman tights!!

Kate:  HAHAHAHA!  No!  FIRST he has to take off the top part of the leotard.  Didn't you ever take ballet class?  The tights go under leotard.  So, before he can take off his tights, Superman has to pull down and then step out of his leotard.

Amelie:  (laughing with urgency)  Then he takes off his tights.  Can you imagine SUPERMAN removing his tights?!

-lots of chortling ensues-

Kate: (wiping tears of laughter out of her eyes)  Yeah.  Superman might be gay.

New Man

Dear Alex Blumberg,

This will come as a shock to you, but I have met someone else.  I figure if I'm going to have a pretend boyfriend, I should really go for it.  If you ever google yourself and consequently need to talk, I'm always here for you- but from now on, we can only be friends.  I'm so sorry.

All the best,

Kate