I think I need to make arrangements in case something amazing happens on The World Wide Web while I am away. One of the things that makes me nervous about this experiment is the possibility that I will miss out on some sort of amazing opportunity because I didn't check my email. So, I have made a few contingency plans:
1. A declaration of love. If you are in love with me and for some reason need to inform me of your love this week (and you don't have my phone number), please contact Ashley. Submit your declaration to her and I will leave it up to her discretion how to handle the situation. I trust her judgment completely.
2. You want to hire me to play in a far away, exotic orchestra. If you would like to offer me an amazing job, please contact Courtney. Courtney will be my musical pimp while I'm away.
3. You want to give me a large sum of money, a fabulous prize, or a vacation package. If I am due some sort of money and/or prize that must be redeemed this week, please contact Dan. I don't know why I'm choosing Dan for this task, but I am. I will probably live to regret it.
That's it! Don't have too much fun without me!
See you in a week.