Oh For Fun!

Details

I think I need to make arrangements in case something amazing happens on The World Wide Web while I am away.  One of the things that makes me nervous about this experiment is the possibility that I will miss out on some sort of amazing opportunity because I didn't check my email.  So, I have made a few contingency plans:

1.  A declaration of love.  If you are in love with me and for some reason need to inform me of your love this week (and you don't have my phone number), please contact Ashley.  Submit your declaration to her and I will leave it up to her discretion how to handle the situation.  I trust her judgment completely. 

2.  You want to hire me to play in a far away, exotic orchestra.  If you would like to offer me an amazing job, please contact Courtney.  Courtney will be my musical pimp while I'm away. 

3.  You want to give me a large sum of money, a fabulous prize, or a vacation package.  If I am due some sort of money and/or prize that must be redeemed this week, please contact Dan.  I don't know why I'm choosing Dan for this task, but I am.  I will probably live to regret it.

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That's it!  Don't have too much fun without me! 

See you in a week.

Resolute

This is the time of year when I begin my incredibly meticulous New Year's Resolution list.  I love New Year's.  New Year's Eve is pretty fun, but mostly I love the concept of a fresh new year, ripe with possibility.  Each December, I write out a stupidly complicated list of resolutions, most of which are forgotten or abandoned by mid January.  I don't mind failing to accomplish my resolutions.  Honestly, I think resolutions do me more good in the conception phase than in the execution.

This year, as an added bonus, I have a list of Old Year Resolutions.  (I was looking at the calender, and as it turns out, there are several more weeks left in 2006.)  Most of my resolutions are too mundane to list here, but there is one Old Year Resolution that concerns you, dear Internet. 

I have decided to take one week off from the computer.  My relationship with the Internet feels a bit addictive these days.  I don't know why, but it bugs me to feel addicted to things, so, just for kicks, I'm taking a week off.

Starting Saturday, I am not going to turn the computer on for the next week, except briefly on Tuesday when I will check to make sure I don't have anything urgent in my inbox.

I came up with this idea last night after realizing that I was lovingly gazing at a picture of the Christmas Branch on my blog, while I sitting right next to the actual branch.  Think about that for a second. 

It just ain't right. 

Oh, Christmas Branch

Thanks for all of the Christmas branch compliments.  I can't tell you how much the branch has improved my mood. 

Ashley asked for a shot from farther away. 

In other branch related news, I spent the afternoon folding and attaching origami cranes.  My branch is very peace loving.

In non-branch related news, I failed to do my laundry, AGAIN.  It's getting grim, people.  Real, grim.

Christmas Tree For The Girl Who Has Everything

I've been in a bit of a funk lately.

In an effort to buck up, I decided that this would be the year that I bought a Christmas tree.  I have never had a tree before.  I have always gone home to Minnesota for Christmas, where there are trees, and stockings, and candy canes all over the place.  I've never wanted a tree in my apartment before.

This afternoon I went over to the tree lot and I wandered around and looked at naked Christmas trees.  The activity was supposed to cheer me up, but I became more and more sad as I walked up and down the aisles.  Suddenly, buying a tree and decorating it alone in my apartment seemed like the loneliest thing I could imagine.   I left the lot without a tree, close to tears.

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As I walked back to my car after the debacle, I saw a big broken branch lying underneath a storm damaged tree.  Without too much deliberation I picked it up and put it in my car.  Then I bought some white spray paint and some glitter. 

It turns out I do want a Christmas tree, but I want it to be a tree that fits with me. 

A weirdy.

It's more of a Christmas branch, actually.

I love my branch.  When I woke up this morning I didn't own a tree, any ornaments, or a single twinkle light.  Twelve dollars later, I am fully equipped with a fine looking branch.

Nothing cheers me up like fully expressing my quirky whims. 

Macitty Mac Mac

You know how they are all, "Macs are so intuitive. They work right out of the box. They are designed for your pleasure. I love Macs. Macs are so cool. Blah blah blah Macitty Mac Mac."? You know how they are always like that? Eff them. I bought this damn thing and I can't figure it out. It's too hard. Poop. Plus, typepad (my blog service) looks all weird, so the blog is ruined.
It is going to be awhile before I can blog properly- I can't even set a desktop backdrop.
My new computer is such an asshole..........it's good thing he's pretty.

Mac People, please reassure that it is going to be okay. I really want to love this pretty guy, but he is being so difficult.

Dig Deep

Janz cares about our breasts.  He also cares about our colons, our skin, our prostates, and any other body part that can be attacked by cancer.  To show that he cares, Janz is riding in the 11th Annual Ride for Roswell on June 24th.   I think this is might fine of Janzie, and I would like to encourage everyone to sponsor his ride.  I am donating $20.  I am also setting a goal to convince you guys to donate a collective $100. (Mom, that probably means you have to donate $80). 

Toss in a dollar or two, people.  Pleeeeeeease? 

Rewards of Donation:

$1- Good vibes, sent to you, by me, Kate Holzemer

$5- A personal email of thanks from me, Kate Holzemer.  I know, I know, this is an incredible offer.

$10- A gentle kiss on the forehead from me, Kate Holzemer.  Ten dollars also entitles you to a feeling of self righteousness.

$20- One Spherey, knitted by me, Kate Holzemer.  I reserve the right to take as long as I want knitting your spherey, and all agreements are null and void if Janz fails to cure cancer.  No, I'm kidding.  If you donate $20, I will knit you a Spherey, and I promise I will complete it before the end of George Bush's second term.   

If you make a donation, let me know you did so, either by bragging about it in the comments, or writing me an email.  This is an honor system. 

TO DONATE CLICK HERE

My readership is a small but kindly crew.

Whim Accomplished

"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware" -Martin Buber

I'm off to Norway.  Wish me luck people! 

Flustery

I have this week off from work- THANK YOU SWEET LORD!  I desperately need this week to practice for the Norwegians.  I am having trouble focusing, and trust me, I really really really need to be focused while I practice for this audition. 

I am just plain flustered. 

One second I am calmly practicing, and then suddenly I realize I have flown away into some sort of daydream/anxiety.   

About an hour ago, while practicing, I realized that I am a complete nut job who can't play the viola and what in the hell do I think I am doing flitting off to NORWAY?!   

Five minutes later, I was daydreaming about my future Norwegian boyfriend (Osvald) and all of the blond, downhill skiing babies we will have.

There are millions of variations of this mind game.

I. Am. Flustered.

The good news is that I booked myself a fancy hotel, so at least I can bring Osvald back to a respectable place after my post audition drinking.  On second thought, we'll go to his place. I shouldn't sully my fancy hotel with a scoundrel like Osvald.  He can be a troublemaker when he drinks.

It's On

Look out Norway, cause here I come. 

I just bought a ticket to Norway.  Gulp.  I don't even want to talk about what the ticket cost me, and Lord knows where I am going to sleep while I am there, but the deed is done.  I am leaving on an airplane in 18 days to take an audition in Norway.  Whaaaa?! 

Good heavens.  The audition is three weeks from TOMORROW. 

I feel a little wobbly.

I'm just going to cross my fingers and pray that whatever happens with the audition, my trip will be fufilling and fun. 

It will be.

...right?

Norway?

You guys, I just don't know what to do.  Audition.  Bergen, Norway.  Many dollars.  Three weeks.

Should I go into debt to take an audition for an orchestra I've never heard, in a country I've never visited?  Exactly how far should I take this little "I want to move to Europe for no good reason" whim?

Am I for real?

Seriously, who slipped me the crack?